This Week's Horrorscope | The Daily Star
12:00 AM, December 07, 2017 / LAST MODIFIED: 12:00 AM, December 07, 2017

This Week's Horrorscope

ARIES

Who likes melted ice cream anyway?  



TAURUS

Do you know why llamas are so fascinating?



GEMINI

What do horses play at parties? Just Prance.



CANCER

I really wish you'd stop stockpiling chocolates in your drawer. 



LEO

A cacophony of crows and cats await you today.



VIRGO

If the Earth is flat, how does it revolve around the Sun? 



LIBRA

Stop using stripes everywhere!



SCORPIO

Push me to the edge, all my friends are bread.



SAGITTARIUS

Get a camel. Name him Kamal. 



CAPRICORN

I'm not really sure what you're going to do with all that tartar sauce. 



AQUARIUS

Be sure to check your messages for discounts to stuff you might buy in the future. 



PISCES

Try not to eat too much cake today.

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